Happy Birthday Demi

Today is her birthday… and I fucking love her so much, I can’t even put it to words… I’m mad I know, and she doesn’t even know me. I’m just one among millions of her fans, who love her so much. I don’t even know why I’m so much into her. I know this is of no use, but fuck man! I can’t help it. I love the way I can’t imagine a day without her in my life. Her smile, voice, craziness, humor, eyes, laughter, her childish behavior, her hair colors, I mean everything. Oh boy! I’m mad. She is like the sea of love and I’m just a tiny fish who can’t live without her, she is my water. I adore her more than my crushes. I love her ability to speak without saying a single word. You’re perfect, the girl of my dreams. In her smile I see something more beautiful than the stars.

My friends laugh at me, I know they’re the real mature people; they have more important stuff to do. And I know they’re laughing at me right now too. But I just don’t care, I have her. I’m so smart, that I’m practically retarded. And when I’m older… and my little girl asks who my first love was, I want to be able to point across the room at the wall, and tell her, ‘there she is’… Demi Lovato. She is a girl who always smiles even when she wants to cry and the one that could always brighten up my day even when she couldn’t brighten her own. My life!

So I’m writing this blog because my friends don’t understand my love for DEMI and her music, and who she is as a person. It’s been 6 years now. And wow! It’s been a long time… I saw her on T.V for the first time. On her show “Sunny With A Chance” on Disney and instantly really loved it. I googled her. I could hardly understand her cause I was just 12. I hardly knew English. But I was awestruck nonetheless! Then I heard her song “La La Land” and I freaking loved it! That was the first English song I ever heard. I became a fan. I downloaded her first album; I listened to it and fell in love with every song… especially “Don’t forget”. Time passed and her songs began to take a whole new role in my life, not only were they there for other things, they began to be there for me when I was lonely. But I became her real fan when I heard “Skyscraper”. That time, I actually didn’t know the story behind it. But thanks to the internet, I found out that she had been through a lot, and it made me love her all the more. I’m not going to tell her story here, but if you guys are really interested then google it.

I can write a book about how much I love her, but I won’t. I want you guys to take me as I’m, everyone has a celebrity crush, but she is not my crush, she is my love. She defines perfection. I have never been so close to giving up, but you saved me Demi. Demi’s music has that effect on so many people, and I’m so happy that I have made friends on Twitter, and FB who are just like me. Though I’m more hardcore! I also want to talk about why I love her as a person. She in many ways reminds me of myself, she is funny, and she’s not afraid to be silly, she’s herself, she treats her fans like friends, she is the nicest and most open hearted celebrity out there. She stands up for what she believes in, and I could just go on and on. I’ve never met her, but I hope I do someday; maybe I will be one of the Lucky Ones. I never buy her CDs, Books etc, but I can say I’m always there for her.

I remember I followed her when she had 2M followers on twitter, and now she has more than 24M. And though I am kinda sad, because it decreases my chances of being noticed, but am happy for her too! She is getting everything she deserves. She is a diva, she is now successful, everyone knows her, this makes me really happy and excited.  One of my dream is to meet her, or at least attend one of her concerts, scream as loud as I can, with the crazy people around me who love her like I do.

 I’m just 19, and I have really serious stuff I need to do, but Demi, oh she is just another part of my life. She brightens my life, and I can’t sleep without listening to her at least once. I just want to say happy birthday, my lady, stay happy, and please never change. Without you, life would suck, without you, life would be hard, without you, life would be hopeless, without a love like you life would be impossible. I hope you do notice me… with the warmest regards, your biggest admirer, you biggest fan, another crazy lovatic, another brown boy.

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Some Inspiring Words

Some days, 24 hours is too much to stay put in, so I take the day hour by hour, moment by moment. I break the task, the challenge, the fear into small, bite-size pieces. I can handle a piece of fear, depression, anger, pain, sadness, loneliness, illness. I actually put my hands up to my face, one next to each eye, like blinders on a horse. Happiness does not come from doing easy work but from the afterglow of satisfaction that comes after the achievement of a difficult task that demanded our best. I resolved to stop accumulating and begin the infinitely more serious and difficult task of wise distribution.

The most original thing a writer can do is write like himself. It is also his most difficult task, I’m continuously trying to write what i feel, you also can do whatever you dreamed of.
I want to end with a line from Shakespeare “A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool”

A Lady With A Bruise

Almost 3 months back, I was in the market with my mom, to buy some vegetables. My mom told me to stay with the Scooter, because there was no space for parking. So I was there, sitting on my scooter, waiting for my mom to come back. In the usual hustle bustle of the overtly crowded market, I saw so many people, who wouldn’t mind spending thousands on fancy hotel dinner, quarrelling with vendors over five bucks worth of garlic, they didn’t pay for. I noticed a vegetable cart with a large variety of vegetables, the cart was very crowded, and my mom was also there. And on the other side, there I also saw a woman. She sat on the right side of the lane, on a torn bed sheet. She just got onions and potatoes. And though she wasn’t physically too far away from the nearby crowd, I felt a weird calm surround her. Like she was there, but wasn’t really there. I went towards her, hoping that she will give me the potatoes at a cheaper rate. As I reached there, I saw that the vegetables were not fresh, almost like they are a month old. Also what caught my eye, was that she had a big bruise on her neck. Her bruise covers almost half of her neck, I was very horrible. I ignored And asked her the price of potatoes, to which she replied, ‘Son! 35 rupees per kg’. I was surprised, and said,’ isn’t it too much for these?’ She smiled, and asked me for the quantity of potatoes I wanted. I asked for a kg. She told me I could have them for 15 bucks. So I, pleased with myself, started to pick out the ‘best’ ones. I knew mamma would be happy.

A couple of days later I went to her again. And yet again, she only asked for 15 rupees. I hesitated, but asked her nonetheless, as to why does she give me potatoes at such a cheap rate? She put her hand to my head band smiled. She said I wouldn’t understand. I asked why? She ignored, and changed the topic by asking if I wanted a carry bag.

One day she finally told me why she sells vegetables at such rates. She told me that she’d buy onions and potatoes from her landowner, when they won’t sell out, and were of no use for him.He’d give them to her at just 5-10 rupees per kg, and then she would sell them so that she can buy food for the day. I don’t ask much that day cause I was in a hurry.

Every time, I went to her, her bruise would distract me. So once I asked her, how she got this bruise? She smiled irritably, and told me not to ask this question again. I was surprised, Cause I’d never seen her rude like this before. After buying potatoes, as I was starting my scooter, I saw some tears in her eyes, but I ignored it. I don’t know why… I didn’t mind much. Maybe because she was rude to me.

One day as I was buying potatoes, a man from municipality came to her. She smiled, and gave him a five rupee coin. The man gave her a slip and then moved to other vegetable stalls. I asked her what that was. She told me, it’s kind of a tax, which is taken from her every day, as a rent, to put her stall there. I said you don’t even have a stall, plus you also don’t earn that much daily, so why give it? She said I only need 50 rupees, for two square meals daily. I asked why? Don’t you have a family? She didn’t reply…

Then one day, as I was normally picking up potatoes, she started to talk. Pretty unexpectedly. And she starts telling me about her bruise. I was surprised and excited at the same time. She started by her son. She and her 5 year old son lived happily in the village. A month ago, she and her son were going somewhere on the bus. But the bus got hit by a truck from the back, and in the accident, her son got seriously injured, and she got this bruise. Her son fainted right after the bus hit the truck. She collected all her savings, that were around 40,000 rupees, and called the ambulance. On their way to the hospital, her son died. She left the ambulance and gave a funeral to her son. From that day she was in the city, waiting to die… I really got emotional that day. I actually got nothing to say, I mean what can I say?

For 2 weeks, I went to my grandmother’s home for a family function, but when I came back, the lady was not there. I asked around, and the man with the stall called me. When I went to him, he laughed and said.. ‘SHE IS DEAD!’. He laughed because, maybe I never use to buy potatoes from him.. I guess… he just hates me. I don’t believe in him, I haven’t seen her from the last two months.

I didn’t know what to say, or feel at that moment. I was happy, emotional, and upset. I was happy, because she always wanted to die or whatever, but I was sad because I knew I’d miss her… It’s a true story and you know guys why I shared this story, because that woman, whom I hardly knew, inspires me to live, even though she wanted to die. She had the money, she could have gotten treated and stay healthy, but without her son she didn’t want to leave. I was living my life without any goals. I mean literally, I was just living. I did what people around me did. But that lady with the bruise, inspires me to live my life. She showed me how much my parents love me. They sacrifice their comforts for me, to make me a better man. But me…? I just waste my time, trying to get a girl, and be like the fake people around me, trying to impress the world… without thinking about my parents. Now my goal is to give those comforts to my parents, which they sacrificed for me. That lady came into my life, to show me the importance of my parents, but guys don’t wait for someone, maybe this life lesson that I learned, will inspire you. I love my parents, no matter what we go through, no matter how much we argue, because I know, at the end, they’ll always be there.

I just hope that she is alive, I wish once in my life I can meet her, and say thank you for whatever she’d done for me…

To My Crush

Last night, I was in mall, with my friends for two reasons. Firstly because my friend wants some new cloths, so for shopping, but secondly and more importantly to check out girls, because yesterday was Friendship day, everyone was looking amazing except me because I’m not much attractive.

I was with my friend, and then something unexpected happened, I’d seen my crush. She came out from the changing room and was showing her dress to her mom, it felt like there was only me and her in the whole showroom, and she is showing her dress to only me and waiting for my comments. She was looking so lovely like always. I wish I could tell her how beautiful she was looking. I could not sleep for the whole night, because I was still in the moment.

My crush, she is in my college, she is in my branch but different section, and she is amazing, her face makes my day, her voice gives me pleasure, her aroma gives me satisfaction, her charm is my work of art.  My body jams when I look at her, her originality, truthfulness, grace, just made me love her, she is just not my crush she is my life, and the worst part is she is already taken.

 Hey girl..

You know, I really don’t care if we ever hook up (well, sort of) but I’m happy that you exist and you’re always near me. I don’t know you that well. I can get everything about you, if I want to but I don’t, it just allows me to run wild with my imagination. Like having selfies, kissing under streetlights, going in long drives, listing songs together, hugging each other tightly in cold winter. All these things are possible in my head. You could be this person.  I just know your name, weirdly we actually have so many mutual friends but I’m sure still you don’t know me. We just sometimes walk past each other in the college canteen. I know maybe you don’t know me, but I think you know my face, which is just amazing.

You represent a possibility, a possibility of happiness, change and romance, a possibility of giving me something I’ve been craving for so long. And the worst part is you don’t even know it! Today you’re sitting in stairs, being so cute, adorable and crushworthy, not even aware of the joy you are giving to me, or maybe you knew, maybe you felt the same way, maybe you are also freaking out like me. If you do, then just tell me, I won’t know until you do something about it.

I can say there is nothing more amazing that having someone to love and feeling loved in return. While loving you I began to see the beauty of the world. There is so much in my life to do but you won’t let me do anything. Life have so many useless things, you’re a reason to live. As time passes by…. I started to wish and hope that I can have you.

I really don’t know how to impress or get you. Sometimes it’s fun to have you around, shutting my friends mouth to listen what you’re talking, ignoring you, like I don’t even care that you love.. I know I’m mad, but only for you. So I don’t think I’m going to do anything about us, I think I’m just going to let it be like it is, maybe if we’re going to be together, we’ll be. Your boy is the luckiest person in the world. I wish I could kill him, I curse him so bad, but I won’t cause he makes you happy. In the end I’m going to be the real mature and just going to keep you as my dream person and don’t let reality ruin anything.

 I have really good company of friends whom I love so much, but sometimes a feministic thing is needed in life. I just wanted to say that it’s not always about getting in relationships with your crush. Sometimes they’re just there to make everything easy and enlighten you day. A crush makes you happy and kiddish, they add bright colors to your life. They’re really important to individual ones, but life is worth more than this.

My crush, I love you, I want you, I can never ask for more than you. You don’t know me, I’m no one for you, and it’s bad but YOU’LL BE THE CRUSH WHO WILL NEVER CRUSH ME.