Life Saver

If my life would’ve been perfect,
A happy shit,
This ciggerate wouldn’t have been in my hands,
But it is, like for years,
I don’t know,
Where my life is going right now?
This takes me higher,
Allows me to forget everything,
Forget that I’m a mess,
It gives me a satisfaction,
That im killing myself,
And one day I’ll quit it,
Not ciggerate but my life,
The sweetest poison I ever found,
But I’m no goner,
Or maybe I’m, yes I’m,
But I blame you,
Whenever I smoke, I think of you,
I’m not addicted to cigarettes,
I’m addicted to you,
Filter in my mouth,
I forget you, your memories,
So many sad stories about us,
Lost somewhere in smoke,
One fag, two fag,
Life is good,
My shirt, skin, hands smells ciggerate, I love it, that’s me,
I remember those people,
Who helped me to get cigarettes,
When I was 14,
They’re my life saviour,
Somehow I would’ve died right now,
Because I’m not good with pain,
This cloud of smoke,
This is my heaven,
Filled with bad memories,
I poisoned my soul,
Destroyed myself from inside,
Fag gives me wings to fly,
When I feel down, lost in myself,
The orange light glowing in my ash try,
Shows me the light, a hope,
All you ask is why I’m smoking?
Why don’t you notice my pain,
I’m not a good actor,
I’m alone, hurt, half dead,
But still I have my pride,
I thought you’d hold my hand,
Throw away that ciggerate,
I never believed in god,
I believed in you,
All waste, living my hard life,
I’m so done with good and happy things,
Now I’m afraid of hopes,
Where is my lighter?
I used to be a good boy,
Now I’m a devil, inside a teenager,
No more trying, just let it go,
Inhale, exhale,
Taking it slow, it’s so relaxing,
I’m waiting here, if you can find me,
Someone who can save me from myself.

Ignored Blood

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