These poems are really personal to me. There is something going inside of me that I also don't know, but it's deep and heavy. It's just that I can't tell people around me what I'm going through, so I decided to somehow put them out. I'm not a writer and I never wrote these things before. I'm not good with words but I hope I justify my emotions through this book. The book is available on Wattpad. Thank you for your support.
Trying to sleep,
But I can’t,
Pillow, wet from my tears,
Running inside my head,
Wondering what to do?
With this Hopeless life,
I got everything,
But still I have nothing.
Nobody to call,
Nobody to talk,
Nobody to miss,
All this loneliness,
I’m just a man,
I just need love.
It’s clear to see,
When this night will pass,
I don’t like this darkness,
But it’s all I got,
Sleeping with lights on,
Atleast for no dark.
This bed is for two,
It never had this empty side,
This side reminds me of you,
You were the drug,
That got me through everything,
I hope you’re missing me too,
I hope something reminds you of me.
I can hear dog’s bark,
My red eyes, tears,
This happens Everynight,
To the people with no goals,
I’m losing myself,
Talking to myself,
Waiting my life,
Alone in this bed.
Fan, on the sealing,
Flying the smoke away,
This ciggerate is about to end,
Time is moving slowly,
I have no pain,
Just filled with so many emotions,
Why I’m so emotional.
Laying down on my bed,
Thinking what I did today,
What to do tomorrow,
I don’t have to cry,
I have to be happy,
Time will get better,
Someday I will not sleep alone.
A poetry collection, on WATTPAD.
It’s 6 AM in the morning. Raj just heard the alarm clock, he wants to sleep but today is a big day for his wife at office. She is going out of the city for a big office deal for 3 days. He has to make breakfast for her. He goes off the bed, puts up his panty and rushes towards the bathroom. He opens the shower and removes his bra and panty to take a bath. He cleans himself properly including his vaginal part because he had sex last night. After his bath, he is looking at his wardrobe thinking what he should wear. He picks up a pink frock with red polkadots. It’s his favorite colour and his wife gave him this dress last year on their 5 year anniversary. Her wife is a working woman and works at an advertising company in the city. She is very supportive towards Raj and is very open minded. She is a responsible woman, very dominant and bossy but she loves Raj alot. On the other side Raj is very sweet and calm by nature. He takes care of home. He makes food, cleans the house, clothes, takes grocery and all household stuff. He is a good husband and very innocent. They both shifted Delhi last year because of Ria’s job. Well Ria is Raj’s wife name. They bought an apartment the day Ria got her transfer letter. They’re very happy together.
It’s 8am, Raj cooked breakfast and he is arranging the food on the dinner table and getting ready to drop her wife station. In meantime Ria is getting ready and buttoning up the buttons of her shirt that Raj picked up for her while she was taking bath.
Now Ria is ready and packing up her bag. Raj calls her to take breakfast. After few minutes they both had breakfast and now they’re ready to go to the station. Raj is pretty upset because he is going to miss her and will not see her face for 3 days. Ria notices this sadness on Raj’s face and she calls him to sit next to her on sofa. Ria kisses him and makes Raj agree for a quick sex. Raj feels really good and excited about what’s going to happen because he knows that he is not going to get touched by his partner for the next 3 days.
Ria pulls down her zipper and picks out her dick. It’s already hard, also Raj is so ready for it he removes his frock and pulls down his panty. Raj and Ria had quick sex. Now they both are happy and satisfied. They both arrange their face, hair and dress to get ready for the station. Raj is reversing the car whereas Ria is locking the main door. Now Raj drives to the station real fast so that Ria doesn’t miss her train. They reach the station in right time. Ria gives Raj a tight hug and thanks him for taking care of her. Ria now moves towards her train.
Raj is home now. He cleans the table, home and dishes. He decides to sleep for a while because he is very tired after doing household things. It’s 6pm now, Raj is alone and missing her wife. He walks towards the kitchen to make tea for himself. After a few moments, Raj gets a call from his friend Deep to invite him at his bachelor party. Raj gets ready for the party because he got nothing else to do now.
It’s 9pm. Raj is ready in his tight black skirt and high heels. He takes his car keys and drives to the party venue. Now he can hear loud party music. He parks his car and gets into the party. He hugs all his friends, gets drunk and dances like hell. It’s party time all the men and women are enjoying the last day of Deep as a bachelor. Raj forgets all his sorrows and is enjoying the night with his friends. All men are looking gorgeous with their make up while girls are busy dancing. Raj is drunk like hell.
It’s 2am, party just ended. Raj says goodnight to all his buddies and gets into his car. He is driving towards his apartment and soon he realises car’s tire is flat. He gets out of the car on that very calm road. Now he can’t do anything cause he doesn’t have extra tier. He calls a few friends but its of no use because everybody is drunk. He doesn’t know what to do. He looks around the road and no one is there. He is worried but scared too because he the only man alone on the road, he feels uncomfortable and gets scared because any woman can take the advantage of an alone man. It’s a woman world men get raped here and women are the rulers of this world. He doesn’t know what to do.
Raj , standing helpless on the side road with his flat car tire. Suddenly he sees a car coming towards him. He’s shocked when he sees 4 women in the car. He is really worried now cause they can rape him. This was the first thought that came into his mind. He helplessly asks girls if they can help him. One woman comes out of the car and starts checking out Raj. She starts touching him and Raj starts to shake like something wrong is about to happen. In calm voice he asks her “can you help me? My tire is puncher. ” She replies “Why so hurry? “. Raj gets more scared. He just wants to run out of that place but he can’t cause those women can catch him easily. He replied “Please leave me! Don’t do anything with me” But the intentions of those women ain’t good.
Now all the three women get out of the car. Raj is shivering like hell. He thinks there is no way to go and these women will definitely rape him. But suddenly all four women start laughing and they tell him that they’re just playing with him. They won’t rape him. So don’t worry they will help him for sure. In the end Raj takes a deep breath and starts laughing with the other four women.
My point is, if there will be a parallel universe in which men have vagina and women dick. There will be no rapes or maybe less as compared to today’s world. So why in this world young girls, women get raped? I badly wanted to write this and I don’t have any intentions to hurt your feelings. Do you find any difference between the world in this story and the world you’re living in ? Ofcourse , you do. It’s a parallel world. A world , where women dominate over men whereas we , we live in a male dominating world. The story shows a world where the wife is working whereas the husband manages the household chores. A world in which women are respected more. More ? More than men. Anyway , let’s get to the point. Basically , the story shows that if we lived in a parallel universe , there would’ve been very little chances of rapes. Why can’t we just change our mentality and treat every women equally.
Eyes, can’t see anything,
Ears, no voice to hear,
Hands, always shivering,
Heart, just a stone,
Lips, scared of words,
Viens, black blood,
Leg, always running,
Lungs, filled with smoke,
Wrist, marks of cutting,
Fingers, pointing towards me,
Skin, no feeling,
Face, a devil’s shade,
Chest, 1 2 3, count my ribs,
Brain, out of thoughts,
My body, a stuffed toy,
No feelings, emotions, just empty.
Life, like an autumn tree,
No leaves, no birds,
Dead calmness, dry and lonely,
No children playing, rough,
Cut me into pieces,
Get a saw through me,
Feel my black dark blood,
Life like a prison, a poison,
Everyday, cold day,
Everynight, lost night,
Giving every single inch of me,
Watching from far away,
Scared to play, always afraid,
No dreams, lost in dark.
Finding a life, a purpose,
Need someone to show who I could be.
I’m invisible, they can’t see me,
But I’m standing here,
Tears falling down form my face,
Heart with holes, Broken me,
Want to feel the mist of rain,
Cold of winter, touch of someone,
Trying to find a friend, to play,
A picture perfect life, I never dreamed of,
Just in case dreams comes true,
Continuous struggle, a dope kid,
Missing what I never had, happiness,
Broken bones, bruised skin,
Why I’m still alive? did what takes to die,
Can I turn the clock back to start,
So I can never get to be here,
In this lifeless empty world…
I’m on my way, way to touch the sky,
Sky, like it was always there, few steps away,
With the light I always needed, a hope,
But I’m a failure, cause darkness is my friend.
Dark is always around me, push me up,
Need your hands, your warm hug, a help,
I’m so alone and thirsty, like it’s my life,
life that needs someone, don’t know where to turn.
I hope you’re my angel, a perfect chance,
Chance to get through it, I’m ready for the light,
A light from somewhere right there, from you,
You were suppose to comfort me, I’m still in the dark.
Guide me with the light of love, how to love,
I forgot what it is, cause no one is here,
Why anyone will be with me, in this dark world,
I don’t want to be afraid, I want to feel myself.
You’re an enemy, from this beautiful city,
Everyone’s perfect, why not me? Me?
I lost my way, please let me in, in your world,
I know in your heart, you won’t let me in, but please.
It’s my darkest hour, day, fuck it’s my life,
It had me down on my knees, call me, shit,
Sit down with me, talk to me, I’m funny,
Funny, humorous, like your friends, just try.
I’m broken, bruised, why you’re pouring salt,
It hurts, I’m like you, like them somehow, yes!
Be my hero, make me alive, touch me,
You’re looking at me, how, I don’t know what to do.
My heartbeat, you’re walking towards me,
So close, chills and you hold my hands,
You’re finally here, I can see the light, mystery,
Where were you for so long, It’s ok, no more pain.
Finally I’m happy, happening life, light,
We’re perfect, no more games with my heart,
Wait, where are you going, stop, no!
You’re done with me? Few moment happiness.
I hate you, you used me like I’m no human,
You didn’t even turned once, I’m a waste now? Sure,
You were my sunshine, after this cold night,
You’re so beautiful, but now I know who you are.
I’m crying, catching every tear drops from my eyes,
One two three, you have to pay for this,
I’m not made of stones, my skin is thicker now,
You can break me like a glass, go on, I’m ready.
Revenge, that’s all that is left, my time is here,
Silence has to end, sledgehammer, your head,
What the hell I’ve done, please come back,
No, darkness made me do this, use me again.
Those were the perfect moments I had, you gave me joy,
You were the enemy, used me, dumped me,
I thought I can make through this dark, I’m a fool,
I destroyed everything, hello my dark empty life.
Why I’m alone, I deserve it, no more hopes,
This mirror, why it’s not lying, like always,
Hiding my pain, a fake smile on my face, it’s gone,
My best friend, my mirror also turned his back.
20 years, inside war, hollow heart, hopeless,
I can see the light, light of heaven, this is real,
End of life, I’m leaving my dark life, coming to you,
No one is here to burn my body, ugly truth.
At last, I finally found it, the light, a friend,
You forgave me, I killed you, the blood, tears,
My life was a waste, I got my life, it’s crazy,
I don’t deserve this heaven, but im here.…
I can cry, so that you can smile,
I can break, to make you strong,
I can make money, so that you can spend,
I can do anything, to make you stay.
I can be a joker, to make you laugh,
I can be in dark, so that you can shine,
I can be wrong, to make you right,
I can be anyone, to make you stay.
I’m dying here in dark, just need your shine,
Want to be something, something to you,
Something that make my weight, to hold you,
Once I get you, this time no regrets,
Cause I’m all bad, and you’re just all right.
I can survive thorns, so that you can sleep,
I can survive nightmares, so that you have your dreams,
I can survive any pain, so that you can enjoy,
I can survive anything, to make you stay.
I can be a stranger, to make a new start,
I can be a lawyer, to take your stands,
I can be the fire, to keep you warm,
I cannot be a goner, cause I can make you stay.
No more same mistakes, thats a promise I do,
Promise to keep you alive, while I was dying,
You left a mark on me, can’t get over you,
You’re a sweet poison, like a ciggerate,
Cause I’m all bad, and you’re just all right.
I can kill him, to get your each smell,
I can pull up every weapon, to make you mine,
I can take your freedom, to take your breath,
I can ignore every guilt, cause I can’t lose you.
But I’m losing myself, being weak, getting afraid,
Everything is not perfect, it has to be, like you,
Broken glass on the floor, like it’s my heart,
Trying to compete with everyone else, no use,
I need to change my ways, stop living a lie.
No more waste of emotions, waste of life,
But you’re my smile, what to do without you,
He is your gentleman, maybe your tears is a lie,
Show me something real, so that I that can run far far away,
You got your way of speaking, I don’t know what to believe in.
I can make mistakes, so that you can learn,
But my mistakes are getting waste, like hell,
I’m getting scars, emotionless, a dark is around me.
I want you to be my best mistake, I’m here,
My hand is ready to hold your hand, can we please make love?